Beautiful Imperfection

This is a Piece of writing by Jayce Haliwell. Posted with his Permission.

A sickening feeling makes its presence known in the pit of my stomache. Almost a feeling of void, almost nautiousness. Disgust for him, and yet at the same time longing, craving, almost needing it to exist.

I bleed and you watch. Only present to mask your own fear. And only fearful of your own presence.

Your words cut deeper than my blade. I am like air. You hate me for being everywhere yet you can’t live without me. Existence in that instant seems to simply boil down to one purpose.

To discover why.

A single tear rolls down leaving a path for others to aspire to. And in an instant more follow suit.

Hypocritical, contaminated, cynical, irradicated.

Illusions of self control intertwine themselves with my pain, releasing a longing to laugh. At stupidity, at arrogance, of yours and of mine. And of the truths discovered within.

Im drowning in a sea of your contentment. Sensing only a vision of endless regret tide after tide after ride. ride..

Your words ring hollow, and I feel almost nostalgic. Holographic.

Afraid. Afraid to close my eyes, afraid to enter an area of nothingness, knowing that when I do it will be eternal. Because when I open my eyes you will be gone.

And existence will be here. Harsh. True.

Never wanting anything more than to know that which you have given me, and yet never being naive enough to believe in its purity.

That which I seek seems so simple yet so complicated.

Eluding me is the reason. So abstract I want to scream for you to retract everything.

words said.. tears bled.. skins shed.. intentions read..

return me to my shell. Return to me my strength. Give me back my facade and leave me with nothing more. Take my pride and steal my ignorance, but leave me with my illusions.

Copyright © Jayce Haliwell(董贝克)

May not be reproduced in any medium without Permission